101 Christmas Jokes That Are Really Funny

101 Christmas Jokes That Are Really Funny

Jokes on Santa Claus

  • What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
  • Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
  • What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
  • How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
  • How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
  • What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
  • What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
  • Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
  • How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!”
  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
  • What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
  • What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!
  • What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
  • Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
  • Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can “ho ho ho”!
  • What did the soccer announcer who made the naughty list get from Santa Claus? COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!
  • What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
  • How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
  • What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
  • Where do Santa’s elves go swimming? The North pool.
  • What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson!
  • What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
  • Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.

Also Read: Merry Christmas Images 2023

Punny Christmas Jokes

101 Christmas Jokes That Are Really Funny
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  • What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
  • What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
  • What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there’s myrrh.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  • What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
  • What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
  • What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies.
  • What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
  • What do grapes sing at Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly.
  • What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
  • What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
  • Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
  • How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.
  • What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
  • What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
  • What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
  • Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
  • Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.
  • What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
  • What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
  • What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
  • What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!
  • What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.
  • How do sheep say Merry Christmas to each other? Fleece Navidad.
  • What is every parent’s favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!
  • Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.
  • How did Joseph and Mary weigh baby Jesus at birth? They had a weigh in the manger.
  • Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him!
  • What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
  • Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? “I’ll never part with it!”
  • What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol? Soy to the World.
  • Elves use what kind of money? Jingle bills.
  • Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
  • What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
  • What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
  • What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
  • What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.

Read More: Christmas Wishes for Friends and Family

Jokes on Christmas Tree

101 Christmas Jokes That Are Really Funny
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  • Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
  • What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
  • Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.
  • Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
  • What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
  • What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!
  • Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson
  • What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
  • How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
  • What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!
  • What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
  • What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
  • What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!
  • What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? Its shadow.
  • What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started his own branch.
  • How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
  • Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
  • What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
  • How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes

101 Christmas Jokes That Are Really Funny
unsplash-jakob owens
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present for Santa!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Your Santa impression needs a little work!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas is here!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Christmastime, don’t you?
  • Knock, knock Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wayne. Wayne who? Wayne in a manger…
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.

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