250+ Best Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Loud

Best Corny Dad Jokes

250+ Best Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Loud
unsplash // kelly sikkema

You can’t spell par entry without “try.”

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable.

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.

Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate nine!

I’m so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.

What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.

Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

I hated facial hair but then it grew on me.

Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why? Inflation.

I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I’m just a bit slow.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.

Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.

How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!

What’s 90 degrees but covered with ice? The North and South Poles.

What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were marooned.

What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

It really takes guts to be an organ donor.

What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes.

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.

I’m reading an anti-gravity book. I can’t put it down!

I’d avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy!

What do houses wear? An address.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

I’m thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?

What vegetable is cool, but not that cool? Radish.

What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon Prime account? Prime mates.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why do peppers make such good archers? Because they habanero.

What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.

What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.

What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed!

Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.

What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield!

Can February March? No, but April May!

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